the.emancipation.of.the.pink.orca

2006-12-14T06:38:00.000-08:00

An old indian parable that i read today (Light in the shadow of Jihad, Ravi Zacharias) that carried a profound message that i would like to share. Stay with me, i promise it'll be interesting.

A man in one village loved a woman in another village. One day she said to him, "If you really want my love, you will have to prove to me that you love me more than anyone else." He assured her that this was already the case. "Oh no," she said, "you love your mother more than you love me." As the dialogue went back and forth, he asked her what it would take to prove to her that he loved her more than anyone else. "Bring me your mother's heart in your hand," she insisted.

In anguish, the man wrestled with her demand and his love for his mother. In a frenzied moment, wanting desperately to win her, he killed his mother. Wrenching her heart out of her body, he clasped it against him and began to run across the miles to give it to the woman whose love he wanted.

But as he ran through a section of the woods, he stumbled and fell. The heart flew out of his hands, and when he got up, he could not find it. He searched frantically on the ground until he finally found it. As he stood and brushed the dirt from his hands and knees, suddenly he heard a quiet voice coming from the heart, "Son, are you hurt? Son, are you hurt?"

i cant start to tell you how much i cried after i read this. the writer explained his meaning in the ensuing paragraphs. from the cross of Jesus Christ strikes a resemblance. we had Him all pierced because of our foolishness. we dont want to accept that we are sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God, we dont want to accept His teachings because it's too hard and we just wanna live our own lives, play by our own rules. following Christ would mean other people laughing and mockng us, callng us 'Jesus Freaks'. but yet, in the midst of Him being crucified, we hear His quiet voice asking us, "Are you hurt? Are you hurt?"

in actual fact, we do hurt. and we are hurting deeply. because of loss of loved ones, failed relationships, unsuccessful acheivements, goals and dreams. uncertainties and our insecurities. but healing can begin when we receive forgivenss and pursue the future God's way, not ours. let Him help us with this 'game of life'. He has purchased you with the blood of His Son, and there is nothing that will ever keep you away from God, and how much he loves you. the way of life is through the Cross. there, hearts are changed, one at a time, and life, love and peace replace death and hate. no one's forcing anyone to accept Christ, but if ever, you feel really really hurt and have no-where and no-one to run to, try running to Jesus at the Cross. like they say, if you never try, you'll never know. take care and God bless!

2006-10-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SRI!!!

so, happy belated birthday sri! and also a happy deepavali to everyone. the usual gang went out for a dinner at Cicerellos after the longest time since we have ever seen each other(thanks row, im not slow, just sleepy okay!). the usual suspects, sri, faz, kailin, rick and tina. i remember we met at 6pm and i didnt reach home till 12. goes to show how much time flies in the company of friends. it was really nice to just hang out again. i rememebered my best and happiest times in Perth was also with these crazy people.

man, kailin finishes this sem, and the rest of us finishes next year. how fast time flies! sigh, i wonder where we all will be after we grad, even more so, will we ever see each other again? i think the whole idea of international students coming together to study is a cruel cruel deal. we make good friends from different countries, which is fantastic, but at the end of it all, we are all made to say our goodbyes and back to where we came from, and probably, the paths we take will never cross again. emo man, emo.

actually, its been a really tough semester. alot of downs this semester. but i hold dear to the promise made in Romans 5:2-5.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not dissapoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy spirit, whom He has given us."

its hard to have fallen in love, made a fool, and pretend nothing has happened. indeed, i am laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours because i have nowhere else to run. life's tough for those who've been through what im goin through, but God's good, and that's enough. *smile*

back to basics...

2006-10-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

Back to Basics...

apologies to many people, i know, i know, the last i blogged was in july. haha, just that i never did got the time to sit down and ramble on with my thoughts. not that i have the time now, i've got exam on monday and assignment due on wednesday, but see how i prioritise my time...all of you should learn from me...

figured i should change my backdrop, back to basics, and to my fave colour, pink! whee! well, i put in a few photos, for your pleasure...

family portriat - me, yvonne, stefanny, christy.

my dearest peachkins (centre, iman) left for med sch, dont go breakin all the boys' hearts!

another of my dearest left, sarah-jane, will miss all the times we sang and played the piano together, see you back in spore and dont you dare go apply for a green card and dont come back!

alrighty, the time i allocated myself to do this has run out...till then, i shall leave you with a song that just makes me listen to it over again and again and again...

When did you Fall -Chris Rice

You're all smiles and silly conversation As if this sunny day came just for you You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away C'mon, tell me what's right with you? Now it dawns on me probably everybody's talkin’ And there's something here I'm supposed to realize 'Cause your secret's out, and the universe laughs at it's joke on me I just caught it in your eyes, it's a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me? Was it out of the blue? 'Cause I swear I never knew it When did you let your heart run free? Have you been waiting long? When did you fall in love with me? When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind C'mon, let's go back and replay all our scenes You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time All the ones that slipped by meI bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’ Well I guess it don't matter now that I realize 'Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now Right there before my eyes You're my beautiful surprise

Was it at the coffee shop? Or that morning at the bus stop? When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand? Or the time we built the snowman? The day at the beach, sandy and warm? Or the night with the scary thunderstorm? I never saw the signs Now we've got to make up for lost time And I can tell now by the way that you're looking at me I'd better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love? I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall? Have you been waiting long? When did you fall in love with me? When did you fall in love?

2006-07-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

5 days left...

well. lets see. till now, i dont feel like im ready to go back to studyin. but sch starts next week howwwww? someone just kidnap me and take me to the bahamas or something.....eish!

durin the first week, i managed to complete leen's present (pinkie operation! remember?) such a joy i tell you! although i was working thru the day and slept at 5am at most nights just to complete it by saturday night. and the end result? my dearest eileen cried! Aww! i actually felt so bad cos her bday was on april 20th and i only gave it to her recently. im like 3 months late laa! but she was still touched! it was so cool! i will try to steal the book from her to take pics and i will post it up. i know some are interested to see how their pages turn up in the end. Patience! and also, i want to thank those who took the time to meet up with me, pen down your wishes, take a pic and do a short clip for eileen, i really thank you, it really meant so much to her. it really gave me great joy to see her so happy. i mean, i couldn have done it without you guys. THANK YOU *smile* (you should go ask eileen to show you the present and tell me what you think!)

i remembered taking the mrt during one of the earliest days this hol, and i was staring out into the window and looking at everything. i had al green, let's stay together playin on my discman, reading my book by piers anthony, it was just nice. like it was nice to be alive. nice to know that i could appreciate all these things in life, to see, to smell, to read, to imagine, and to me importantly, to dance. Sometimes we just take them for granted. yup, im blessed! just a recollection.

oh yes, i visited my hairdresser. i asked for nice big curls, but i kinda look like a cauliflower now. eish! i never knew how much my life depended on her. sigh, i guess i have to live with it. all those who tell me its nice, i thank you for being too kind.

so thats the first week, second week, i spent most of my time with my aunt and uncle who came for a visit from norway. and then last week, after sending them back on tuesday, i came down with high fever and flu and spent 4 days on bed. it was SO terrible!! omg. i wanted to do so much but i got freakin ill! eish!

well, its my last week and i still haven met up with alot of people i miss! oh dear! oh dear! i guess we'll just have to wait till christmas. Ooo, i love christmas! i like walkin down orchard road, just looking at the lights, its niceee. Mmm, christmassssssss. i so want christmas.

alright, back on track, ive completed the whole 7 books of the incarnations of immortality! awesome! after the 5th book on nature, i thought the ending was SO good. the satan one after was abit hard to get past the first few chapters for some reason and the last one on God, was defintely blasphemous but it was alright. i guess i preferred the endin for mother nature. it was SO touching laa!!! sri quickly read so we can so talk about it! i really liked the whole idea of how incarnations are offices held by normal people and i kept thinking as i read the book, why hasn anyone done a movie on it?! then again, no movie can compare to the original, oh well. maybe one day. i'll ask ryan to read and then make the movie. im sure he'll do a good job.

so there, i guess this last week would be settling my own stuff like visiting the dentist (im so deaddd), gettin new specs (im so blind, its all education's fault), gettin stationary, hm, what else, not too sure at the moment, im sure i have other rubbish to do. alrighty, any more meals anyone? smile. take care, God bless!

2006-06-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

home sweet home

alrighty, im back in singland for about 1 month before i go back. this break is desparately needed and its really sweet to be home. cant wait to meet up with all my friends and will be postin some photos hopefully if i have the time. exams totally sucked big time, so hopefully i'll be able to pass all my units and havin the thought of re-taking any of them is...eish! dont wanna think bout that. whee! cant wait to take on all the food ive been missing for the longest time. so anyone who wants to go luching or dinnerin with me, feel free to call me out ya? see you guys soon! take care and God bless!

to ryan: yup, i read your msn msg, and in all honesty, if you STILL dont get her by tuesday, you are the biggest dope i ever know. dont fail me, my child. haven i taught you anything? haha, all the best! much love from singapore! keep me updated yupyup! (:

2006-04-26T05:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRINE!!!

*sings out loud*ahem*

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to youuuuu...

Happy birthday my dear (beautiful-loving-crazy-adorable-strong-sensitive-poor cousin who lives with knut and especially asbjorn ) TRINE...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! :)

min kjær trine, glad glad glad fødselsdag!!! kan all Deres drømer kommer sann. hus at jeg elsker De. fra Deres babysøskenbarn, shelby!

oh yah, remember, we live for the beautiful nonsense. missing you very very much! *muacks* have fun hon!

2006-04-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

this entry is for you.

my dearest dearest baby girl. i wish that i could be there to hold you through the night as you cry your heart out. i know that it hurts so bad and its tearing you apart. i know that you just want to end the pain. i know how it feels to have loved someone so much and have them love you back and suddenly things change. im really really sorry things have to happen this way. i know you still love him very much but things have changed. girl, you have to be strong. you have to pick yourself up again. you have to learn how to trust again. i believe that God has bigger plans for you. you just have to believe. i know memories are hard to let go, but only time can heal. always remember that there are so many family and friends around you who care very much. i love you very much and it hurts me so to see you cry like that over the phone and i cannot do anything. darling, you have to just let him go. it's not going to be easy, but i promise that i'll with you every step of the way. know that i love you. very much *hug*

2006-04-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

time is finally on my side...

i finally have the time to just sit down and breathe and blog about what has been happening to me. well, hols are here for a week but i have to be in the lab everyday to complete a molecular biology project. not looking forward to that, but it's something i have to go thru. been working at sommerville and i think its been not too bad. like i now understand how hard money comes by and i kinda think twice about the stuff i buy now. it's a good habit i've picked up, i think. got exams coming after the hols so i have to start studyin next week. hopefully!

grant asked me whether i want to get settled down in the future cos he was so anal about having kids around in the house, sayin that they are a whole lot of trouble and a waste of money. but if you ask me, damn! i want to have as many kids as i can. of course my husband and i have to be financially stable cos i want all of them to have a good life. like, there were so many children coming into the cafe recently and i couldn help smilin and thinkin to myself, what a blessing! so to answer grant, i do want to get married to the one man that i will always love, struggle through early marriage, have as many kids, struggle through parenthood and then, just grow old with yet again the one man that i will always love. *smile*

i think the word 'grace' is unbelievable and just blows my mind away. the whole idea of God himself coming down to earth to die on the cross for people who have sinned so much. for people who even turn their backs on Him. All just so that God and man can be reconciled. He didnt have to, but He want to and He did. and because why? All for love. Love. Such a beautiful and powerful word *smile* its awesome to know how much God loves you, if only you knew. and not only He's full of love, He's super powerful as well. cos exactly tomorrow, about 2000 years ago, He rose from the dead and He conquered death! Nothing can hold him down. it's awesome to know a God like that loves you and me and gave everything just so we could be together. Blessed be our God!

*smile* i hope you guys had a really good friday and remember, God loves you!
Happy Easter! :D

2006-04-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

hey all, introducing my best friend, 'leen. aw, isnt she such a beauty?DAMN I MISS HER! sigh, im currently suffering a phase of homesickness. sigh. i miss 'leen so much! im so depressed that i cant be home to celebrate her 21st with her. then also i miss home. i really do. i think its cos of the workload. uni make you go mad.

there's a thousand reasons to why i should give up but im stubborn in the things i believe.

the river runs, and the river hides, out to the ocean and under the sky,

i promise you, the answer will come, hold on to patience and watch for the signs.

everything in His time.

then hold on i will.

2006-04-03T03:25:00.000-07:00

It is well with my soul

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blessed assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul."

2006-03-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

nothing can be any worse. nothing can go more wrong. things can only get better. yes, things can only get better.

2006-03-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

i just had the worst day of my life...someone please save me.

part 1 of the reunion

2006-02-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Part 1 of the reunion...

these are the coolest people when i was in junior college. they are all so smart and so nice and have left so many nice memories for me. i rememberd xian wei smsing me, whoever's late have to parade naked in j8. believe me, that was the only time i was ever early for anything. pictures galore!

da girls...

da boys...

Big Head Edition

yongbin chanced upon this shot.

then xianwei couldn help himself.

neither could pi.

jun.

then myself.

The Handphone Edition.

i wonder if we were all calling each other...

The Swallow-ER

we now present to you jun and her swallowing act!

she swallows anything!!!!

part 2 to be continued...

gone wild part 2

2006-02-25T11:23:00.000-08:00

Cafe Cartel Reunion (Part 2)

this is part 2 of the pictures, man we are such camera whores. but we just couldnt resist and had soooo much fun!!! haha, enjoy :)

look at xian wei croon his way into our hearts...

pi couldnt resist but had to join him...

when we got the 'mikes', we immediately sung like no tomorrow and you know jun's for real...

and we continue to sing all night longgggg.....

The L-O-V-E edition...

we actually scolded pi cos' she got the 'E' the wrong way...

then we realised we were all wrong...
now we are alright, a happy valentine present to all...

The Creamer Edition...

the many ways you can utilize creamers from cafe cartel...

but creamers dont make very good specs tho' ...

more ways you can utilise creamers from cafe cartel...

Group Photos...

for our death-defying feat, lets try takin a picture from an angle now...

its not hard to guess who's gettin frustrated with all the picture taking...

aw xian wei! its the darlie ad shot! show your teeth, not your tongue!

and we all finally submit to a good picture.

i already miss you guys. i had soooo much fun. we must do it again when im back home. yipeee! :D take care and God bless!

on borrowed time

2006-02-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

On Borrowed Time...
ever been in a situation where you wished you had one more day to either accomplish something or be with someone? mine just happened today...

SO, im supposed to be in perth now but guess what? im not! im still in singapore. let me tell you why. my mum and i was packing and were almost done, so at 6, we wanted to finish off and she couldnt find my passport!!! we turned over every single furniture, opened every drawer, peered into the deepest, the darkest and still no passport!!! so my mum thought she left it in her office and she panicked and took a cab down, but still no passport. in the end, we had to cancel our flight with thoughts of renewing my passport which would take weeks to get ready. finally, we FOUND it, actually she found it and guess where? amist all the chinese new year decor! my goodness, just cos its red, we misplaced it. win already la. honestly, i really wasnt ready to go back cos i just dont feel like im ready. i was actually glad to know that it might take a week to renew, but when she found it and booked the flight for tomorrow, i was abit dissapointed, but well, my study life has to go on. so im actually living on borrowed which turned out really well because today, i finally have the time to watch my ah-ma cook and learn some dishes and the rest of the day was spent with 'leen. which was good! damn im goin to miss her scoldin me all the time. well, life has to go on. so we shopped da whole day at city link, suntec and marina square. all is good and i finally found a good bag which i can use for school and stuff. so all's good!

well, i guess im not prepared to leave cos i have alot of issues yet to settle. for the operation, not all the pinkies have been sacrificed, some escaped. i want to go for the campus hub retreat and be part of it but i cant. i want to spend more time with you but i cant. i want to solve the grudge but i cant. i want to do so many things! but i cant! sigh. im sorry i just really cant. but now, i have come to terms with it and will settle when im back.

my prayer to you before i leave is that you'll be able to understand the true meaning of love and be loved. because if you love something or someone so much, esp when you believe and admit that you need them and they're the only one who make you feel like you want to be a better person, i really dont think that they could be let go so easily, unless you were lying. you have let go too easily. what happen to 'i'll do whatever it takes so that i can be with you and you'll never have to lie bout me again?' the opportunity was wide open for a conversation, but you just gave in. you just gave up. you just let go, again for the third time. you did not fight for what you love. so you never felt the pain of losing. no one should be ever called names like that, no one should ever be put down like that and i apologise on her behalf. but in the end, ten days have passed and you're still able to just live on without fighting for what you love. you almost had me and the thought of being in your arms again was almost so surreal. but it turned out that i found out more about you and im really glad it didnt work out because in the end, you would have just taken everything for granted. only now, we have truly come the the end of the road. i really pray that you'll understand love and find a love that you'll do anything to keep it close to you forever. exit.

it was a rather long and personal entry, but pray for me that i'll have God's angels to travel with me and stay safe in the plane till perth. God bless you guys and take care ya?

the Operation continues...

2006-02-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

the Operation continues...

today was good, more pinkies were sacrificed. ho-ga-sa-ka-ho-ga-sa-ka. more to come i tell you!!

besides that, i really had a good time with you today, realising that you are one of the few people who does jc and poly and special paper for physics!, suddenly shouting "IDIOT" at me when it was actually your invitation for me to finish your chee kweh, finding out that you hate to be mocked at for not speaking proper chinese (ha-ha-ha), looking at the 'Singapore Idol yet-to-be' (and damn! she was a lot of woman!) sing her lungs out and entertain the lau-ah-peks, looking at the lantern lights together, eating the ice jelly, and me reminding you that knowing how to drive a manual car is a man's thing...i really enjoyed myself. many thanks even for that short 2hours or so, it was night well spent.

well guys, have a good week ahead, take care and God bless!

-3 days and counting-

Operation Pinky has started!

2006-02-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

Operation Pinky has started!

yes, the operation has started yesterday in the very heart of bedok. altho' it started very late, but it must carry on till it completes. and today, it continues on in tampines, then simei. we must perservere on...to those who took part in this operation, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for sacrificing your pinkies for me. i know it was painful, but i really appreciate it. for the rest yet to come, please be prepared and dont say i din warn you.

im actually really tired but i just want to share a quote i chanced on today during sermon and i hope that in the week ahead, you'll think differently and lives will be changed. So Exciting! :D

"Make a rule and pray to God to help you to keep it,
never if possible,
to lie down at night without being able to say,
"I have made one human being at least a little wiser,
or a little happier, or at least a little better this day." - Charles Kingsley

May God bless you and keep you this week close to Him. take care guys!

-2 days and counting-

sunday came!!!

2006-01-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

Sunday as promised!!!

sunday came! today came! everything was good. sermon was about how God made His covenant with Abraham and it's cool. God will fulfill all the promises He make, in His good time. He's just so cool. so after church, we just bummed around to collect enough people to go for lunch and this was who i gathered. it was indeed an awesome day...

bimbo and me tryin hard to resemble that of goldfishes. i think we failed terribly and just look constipated.

we're all good now. my pretty and dearest thers, i shall blog about her another day.having lunch at sunshine plaza. cannot make it. drink water also want to take photo.
this is alex our dearest mentor. it's funny cos he's actually in a serious conversation here and bimbo here just dont get it.
she still dont get it.
ben (talks about sitting on eggs that cannot hatch), mark (the confused one always getting orders from me), andrew (hunky body!), me and bimbo(you think she gets it now?)!
the best thing that happen to me today had to be him. he's sooooo adorable!!!! alright, let me justify myself. im not really the kind who buys soft toys because i think the money can buy me something more practical like a meal or smt, but i just couldnt resist.....adorable beyond description. the new man in my life. my aslan. RAWRRRR! Feel the wrath! (maybe its more like 'meow'?)

aww, today was just sweet. im so blessed. hope that everyone else had a good day as well. till again, take care and God bless! :D

belated Happy New Year's...

2006-01-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

belated Happy New Year's...

dearest all, seems like i forgot to wish all a Happy New Year! how rude of me! so......HAPPY 2006 guys! and may this new year be one blessed with joy, peace, accomplishments and most of all, love. Some of the pics taken on WatchNight on the 31st of dec 2005.

mummy dearest and me during WatchNight dinner.

taken just after the clock strikes 12

this group of 5 altogether holds a very special place in my heart. we were the 'left-behinds' after our seniors left. we endured thru Lighthouse without any older kids to look up to and now, we are goin to be the pioneers of campus hub. damn, its just sad that i wont be here half the time when it commences in march but do remember that i have each of you in my heart. to ben, mark, jane and daniel. tho' we have times when we just love each other to bits and other times when we want to literally kill each other, God has been gracious to me when He brought you guys into my life. and i never really did say thank you have i? well, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. i pray that God will continue to bless us with more good friends along the way but still keeping the dear 5 of us close to each other. my wishes for each of you...

ben-you're just so adorable. i pray that you'll excel in law school and find a pretty lawyer that can for once out-talk you till you just become so mesmerise by her. also bear in mind to study hard first.

mark-i pray that you'll get into a course that you'll desire and keep growin your passion in serving the Lord thru music. keep it up, you're doin great.

jane-stop gettin prettier every year! jk. hope you graduate psych sch with flying colours and continue to be a woman after God's heart.

dan-i pray that you will also graduate with many distinctions and continue pursing your studies wherever it may lead you. i also pray that God will be near to you and reveal Himself to you so that you will be just amazed and understnad how much He has done for you.

i better go slp soon and im looking forward to tmr cos its Sunday! and tts when i see my fab 4...till again, take care and God bless!

how can i?

2006-01-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

how can i?

today was the 1st day of sch collection and it was at St. Hilda's Pri Sch. i went with alex and he's not too bad a person. all da kids was soooooo cute. im goin to miss da kids when i go back to office work. its just nice to see a kid's face just brighten at the smallest things, and see them in their over-sized uniforms. just adorable. anyway, work's been hard. sleepin at 4am to do up posters, carryin a 3rd phone around just in case teachers call up. and speakin of which, i think Maths HOD are like the dodo bird, they are extinct and can never be hunted down. either that, or all Maths HOD in Singland just refuse to answer my call. On top of which, i have to deal with nasty, gong and just plain horrid parents. But i believe there's always something to learn at the end of the day and something good to look forward to. like ah-ma's cooking, 5E's piano to toy with new melodies, or just da chance to snuggle up and read my book and take a break.

at least when i work, im preoccupied, and i forget about stuff. alot has happen recently.
these few days have been a ride. a bad one. not like those fun rides in the carnival where the after-effect is 'Woah! I totally have to go again'. this time round its just really bad. till the point that it questions what i believe. its really sad that on one hand i wanna live like Christ, but on the other, i love my 'leen and i dont want to grieve her and lose her trust. alot has just happen.

theres alot of things at the moment that im so confused, so torn, so lost. i cant bring myself to believe, but whenever im alone, the conversation is repeated in my mind and i envisioned the scenes in my head...
those were my hands, hands that fit perfectly with mine, hands that grip on tight to mine to lead me and remind me that with that strength, nothing can go wrong and everything's goin to be alright.
those were my lips, lips that speak to me the words that comfort me, give me peace, telling me that you love me, pressing onto mine, putting an end to every doubt, telling me that everything's goin to be alright.
that was my heart, it belonged to me, one that used to beat for me, one that i would pressed my head to your chest and listen to everynight, and it echoes back like a lullabye to me, releasing all my fears, telling me that everything's goin to be alright.
everything i hoped for, i dreamt of, was fufilled. you came true. i really thought it was all goin to be good again no matter long it takes. but then, these are not the kind of things you share with other people. actually, nothing's goin to be alright. its just too much for me to bear. i cannot accept. i lost all trust. i cant explain. im just all hurt inside.
how can i help you when i cant bear to talk to you? how can i? this scene is all too familiar, just like lamentations when i read the other day. ironic how the bible comes alive. how can i?

home sweet home...

2005-12-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

home sweet home...

heyhey, back home in singland, where everyone sings to their own tune. anyway, it would be different this time cos gracie dearie wont be here and the anticipation for her 21st birthday has vanished. sigh, poor her, i hope she enjoys her stay in melb. i miss you grace!

everything is still kinda da same. ah-ma still snores loudly tho' she's slpin in the room next door, mum is still naggin at every little mess i make and the neighbours are still hooked on mah-jong 24/7. the melody you hear at the whee hours in the mornin...man, im glad to be home.

attended tommy and jophia's weddin and it was nice to see them exchanged their vows, tommy singin his song and jophia gettin all emotional just thanking her parents. it was really nice. hm, marriage. well, another post, another day.

been out with a couple of old friends from church, jc and sec sch. some of them have become really quiet but a few of my dates has logorrhea. so its cool to see how everyone turned out to be. there are still many yet to have catch up with. i hope to do so before work starts.

well, all's hearty and im thankful to be back. results are comin out on mon and the bear offered to sit beside me when i open my results.so nice of him. all i can do is to hope for the best. besides that, worship leadin on sunday which i have no idea which songs are most apt and whether 5 people lead or just 2, and the band, whether all lighthse or yaf. decisions decisions decisions.

your actions, your words and your thoughts. what does it mean and what do they say? should i just throw my precaution to the wind and listen to my heart? what should i do? decisions decisions decisions...grrr

take care guys and God bless!

my goodness...

2005-11-20T09:28:00.000-08:00

my goodness...i didnt believe it when i first heard it. i was like, ya right common, but it was true. my goodness. i just want to say, you will always be rememebered in the many hearts you have inspired. indeed, one of the best wrestlers ever. every match was awesome and you will be greatly missed. heaven has some latino heat now. oh well, viva la raza!

how can it all end so fast?

2005-09-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

how could it all end so fast?
after people keep buggin me to learn how to put up pics, and after learning how to, im so addicted to it! so interesting and fun. haha. such a dork. anyways, the last of some of the pics that i have from recent events. sigh, its already week 7 and its time to stop having fun and get some real work done, i really have been playin all this while and i have 2 exams in the following week to come, both immunology and biochem on the same day. and, next week i've got to do a dance for zion, and practices have been hectic. real hectic. but i enjoyed every practice cos i miss dance so much. man i miss dance. anyway. the last few pics that i can show you, so enjoy! kudos to my 2 crazy pals who have always been there for me. love you lots guys.
the whole gang eating my favourite food- dim sum!! aw, jingyuan came to visit nicole, so sweet!
having the best fish and chips in WA, faz was goin crazy and the girls were just happy to be there
faz and me went to an event held by the malaysian society inthe tavern on their national day. i was dressed like a huge bubblegum and faz explained that his costume was a representation of malaysia, the old kampong top which represent malaysia's traditional culture and the jeans represent a deveolping nation. yes faz, excuse for your laziness.

okie guys, i have to go and do some work, or should i say, start some work. sigh, but till again, take care and God bless!

the memory lingers on...

2005-09-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

the memory lingers on...
heyhey, yupyup, and im back to tell you bout the best night i had yet this semester. remember the oysters and the games night? well, nothing much else to say, but just wanted to put up some pics to let you know how awesome it went. it was just very nice to have all my friends around (tho some were missing, your bad!) and just having fun and just being in each other's company. like i probably mentioned before, we kinda forget bout the simplest things in life and chase after stuff like internet, television, speed and stuff for entertainment. i duno, call me old-fashion, but i would so much rather have fun this way, being with my friends. anyway, pictures we shall see!
(clockwise) Rick, kailin, anu, sri, faz, me and lindy at oyster bar on a tuesday i think. look at the amount of oysters we had! naturals were $10 dozen and the crazy people like lindy and me just ate like there's no tomorrow. yum yum. so good, so good.
after the oysters, we went back to sri's flat to play games and since i thought i had dark chocolate and lotsa fruits, why not make fondue for everyone? so just imagine, the chocolate's melting in a big big pot, and all these are the fruits to dip into the melted choclate. Ooooooooh! beyond words baby, beyond words.
what more could we have man? good food, good friends, and ultimately, just lotsa good times. thanks guys, for makin such a beautiful memory for me.

NOOO!!!

2005-08-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

NOOO!!!
boo. its already saturday. murdoch just had its one week break and i din not get any work done at all! amazing. and so dead i shall be soon. i dont have tons of work to do, but just this one biochem report thats due on wednesday. so dead, so dead, and so dead. oh well, on to other more interesting stuff first.

heyhey, i like this layout, i think's its cool. always been a fan of black cats and all the myths about how they are the witches' friend, and how they are also associated with bad luck. i just think they look pretty. and common' give the poor cat a break. this reminds me of nicole's cat, if i dont recollect wrongly, she's called....i cant remember, oh well.

okie, so lets recap what i did. sri's sister left yesterday after being here for a month. man, i salute her man, to be in perth for a month. but i really hope she had fun and would want to see us again. haha, maybe we scared her abit. but she was nice, really nice lady, i really hope she will find a nice man who treats her well and loves her and marry him and INVITE ME TO DA WEDDING!!!!haha, then i can throw rice, or mashed potatoes? haha.
(sri, anu, me and kailin at the airport)
i had lots of fun this week. on monday, faz and me went to get a bag for anu cos it was her bday on tuesday. so we bought her this small purple and pink handbag. and then later at night, we had oysters!!!omg. they were so fabulous! lindy and me kept gorging, and we keep asking the waiter to bring more. i think he must have thought we were nuts. actually, kailin and anu were also oysters fan. rick was just normal, sri was begining to acquire the taste and i think so was faz. but we all had lotsa fun! and after that we had fondue and games at sri's place! omg, fondue is my aphrodisiac! it was so good. and we played twister, pictionary and charades. it was hilarious. you guys should have been there. its been quite a while since i had so much fun.

i tried putting another pic, but i think they din allow me, i wonder why. hm. i shall put it up in another entry then. anyways, then tuesday, when it was her bday, we went to little creatures for dinner. and then wed, thurs, fri, is a big blank to me at the moment.ha.

alrighty, i shall go figure out the uploading of pics, and tomorrow or something, take care and God bless!

all over again...

2005-07-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

all over again...

hey, i know that the pic is down and prob the whole page is screwed up as well, but i will change it in due time ya, for now, for my sake, just put up with it okie? sweet...

well, im back in perth for my 4th semester. i have 3 units to take and they are-medical immunology and molecular genetics (im already dozing off...), biochemistry 1 and biostatistics (boo...). hm. what do you guys think? i think, that its kinda cool. haha, i know i'll regret sayin this, but i kinda miss studyin for the period i was back in spore. maybe the reason cos everyday i went out and it seemed that i din learnt anything from it. i duno, im goin mental.

anyways, im down with da triple hit combo, da flu, da fever and da cough. all thanks to 'leen. i know its not your fault, but still, ITS YOUR FAULT!!! just pray i'll get better before the real teaching period starts.

saw most of my friends and im so happee to see them! glad they are all healthy and lookin gd!!! sri brought her sis along and she's stayin for a month...so lucky man she, got family around. well, hope anu will enjoy her stay...i helped faz with his stuff just and realised he brought back the biggest malaysian flag ever. i think he can use it as a blanket, remind him of his country everynight, haha...haven seen kailin, rick. ailing, haha, we met at the spore airport and she so poor thing, so sad to leave, want to cry but cos im there, so she tahan, poor thing la she. dont worry babe! time flies and we'll be home soon in no time!

alrighty, will turn in now, cos i have to wake early so that i can go and buy mi books from the ever overcrowded bookshop. but before that, there's someone else i have to talk to...

Dear God,

I just want to thank You for the break You have given me,

being able to see and be with my cousins was a blessing and to see them healthy,

its more than enough.

I also want to thank You for the friends i have in spore who still cares for

me, pray that You'll keep them safe.

Thank You for my friends here in uni that You have granted journey mercies

and we have arrived with no torubles at all.

I would like to commit into Your hands this sem,

I just pray for the concentration, for wisdom, patience and strength,

everything that i need to cope and do well.

I really just want to do well and glorify You.

Thank You for everything in my life,

my mum, 'leen, my family and friends.

Most of all, thank You for Your Son, Jesus, for dying on the cross,

so that i might have the chance to live.

Thank You.

Amen.

the sweetest dreams guys! take care and God bless!

in the midst of my hols...

2005-07-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

in the midst of my hols...

hey guys, dont worry, im still alive. just enjoyin my hols. but will start updating when sch starts late july. so dont worry, im alright! take care and God bless!

the voice of truth

2005-06-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

how i miss home....

hey,

im the midst of my exams and the first one just passed lastsat. in that 2-hr paper, i have probably said enough vulgarities to last me a lifetime. argh, everything's so hard cos i get so distracted with so many things around me, and i dont know what to do. and so many things telling me that i cant do it. i just have to believe...

But the voice of Truth, tells me a different story.

The voice of Truth says, 'Do not be afraid!".

and the voice of Truth says "This is for My Glory".

Out of all the voices calling out to me, i will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth.

i am goin to have 3 papers in a row on mon, tues and wed and im still lost in which subject i should study first. cos if i do one, i'll be thinking bout the other.crap. i just to have to be strong. i miss home so much and i cant wait to go home and see my family and my best friend and my cousins...most of all, i cant wait to go home and see my ah-gong...i miss him so much...sigh...alrighty, back to books. take care guys and God bless...

i can only imagine...

2005-06-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

i can only imagine, what it would be like,

when i walk, by Your side.

i can only imagine, what my eyes will see,

when Your face is before me.

i can only imagine, i can only imagine...

surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?

will i dance for You Jesus, or in awe of You be still?

i stand in Your presence or to my knees will i fall?

will i sing hallelujah, will i be able to speak at all?

i can only imagine, i can only imagine

i can only imagine, when that day comes.

and I find myself, standing in the Son.

i can only imagine, when all i will do

is forever,

forever worship You.

i can only imagine...

and my life goes on

2005-05-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

and my life goes on...
hey...
alright, i have been moanin and just stonin, not doing anything cos im missing mum so much. and it didn make it any better when sunday was mother's day, and she wasnt around for me to hug her and tell her that. tell you guys a story, on the afternoon she left, i wanted to talk to someone about it, someone family, so i called my aunt's place and asked for my grandma. and the conversation went like this.

"ah-ma, mum left already, very sad."
"oh, shelby good girl ok? ok ah? good girl. bye bye bye bye."

and it went on like this. everytime i said something, and of course i was weepin like theres no tomorrow, she would say, good girl ok, then bye bye bye. like she wanted to put down the phone so badlyand she din want to talk to me.i really couldnt understand why. well, after like the tenth time of her saying bye bye, i realise that either she couldn understand the pain i was goin through or she din love me anymore too. then mum came home and i told her bout the incident how ah-ma was being so insensitive and she din make the effort to even comfort me, and how i was so pissed at her cos i needed to hear her words of comfort, and she merely wanted to put down the phone, and i also mentioned the i 'never' wanted to talk to her again. and my mum was like, 'hm, you know why ah-ma wanted to put down the phone so badly? because she was also crying inside, she understood how you felt and how much you missed home and she also felt the same way, prob she was feeling how much she misses you." man, dont i have the coolest grandma in the world? :D

anyways, im such a baby. sigh. i have to get on with life, no point mopping around not doing any work and giving myself excuse cos im suffering from 'homesick'. i should be happy that mum could at least make it down to see me and we enjoyed each other's company. ok. thats the end im goin to talk about mum. i have to get on with uni life.

if my trusty wallplan is right, im in week 10 into the sem 1. altogether there are 13 weeks. and 3 exam weeks. well, come to think about it. im goin home soon! :D but before that, i have to sit for the stupid exams. :( oh well. thats the way life goes. i have an exam on wed and an essay due on friday and then jane's coming on monday! whee!

man, its such a long entry isnt it? hm, i shall end with some ramblings goin thru my head. In Psalm 46:10, God tells us, "Be still, and know that I am God." i think that sometimes, we are too busy with life. sch, relationships, jobs, or even exercise, shopping, etc. sometimes when we even have free time alone, we think that, wait a minute, i should be doin something and we fill that void. for it not, it is time not well spent. then if we are so filled with activites, how is God goin to speak to us? how are we goin to be still, and listen? recently, i had alot of time alone cos there were problems in my life and i just wanted to avoid everyone. and i found out that, time alone is time well spent. i dont know, i remember people telling me that they can never go anywhere without someone else, like its an embarrassing thing. but i seem to do that just fine. i guess i cherish the gift of solitude. sure, accompany's always good and fun, but sometimes, we have to back away and just be by ourselves, give yourself some room to breathe. and for the believers out there, i think that when you give yourself sometime to be alone, you are allowing God to be with you. cos then you will not be distracted by anyone else. so like time alone isnt really time alone, you are chillin with the King. how cool is that? so whenever you have time alone, just cherish it and maybe you can just hear God say to you, "thanks for spending some time with me, just the two of us." adios guys, take care and God bless!

"come here and cry on my shoulder
i'll hold you till its over
i'll rescue you tonight
let my arms be your shelter
your hiding place forever
i love you more than life."

and she left...

2005-05-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

and she left...
hey...
my mum left back for singapore today. sigh. its gona take me awhile to recover, you have no idea how much i miss her now. sigh. sob.

just something else...

2005-04-28T01:08:00.000-07:00

just something else...
for cheryl...

In Christ alone will I glory, Though I could pride myself In battles won.

For I've been blessed beyond measure, And by His strength alone, I overcome.

Oh, I could stop and count successes. Like diamonds in my hands.

But these trophies could not equal, To the grace, by which I stand

In Christ alone I place my trust,

And find my glory In the power of the cross.

In every victory, Let it be said of me.

My source of strength, My source of hope,

Is Christ alone.

In Christ alone will I glory, For only by His grace I am redeemed.

And only His tender mercy, Could reach beyond my weakness To my need.

Now I seek no greater honor, Than just to know Him more.

And to count my gains but losses, And to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone I place my trust,

And find my glory In the power of the cross.

In every victory, Let it be said of me.

My source of strength, My source of hope,

Is Christ alone. -Michael English

i believe that God is faithful to complete what He has started, if you doubt yourself, then you are doubting Him. well, it happens, but we just have to trust and believe and hold fast to the promises made in the bible. love you lots dearie...*smile*

one down two more to go...

2005-04-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

1 down, 2 more to go...
hey...
so i had 1 prac exam today, i think it went relatively okie. i think i can pass it which is good enough for me. after that, i had lunch at the asian caravan and went for a class which i slept right thru. sometimes i wonder if people who have insomnia, they have tried the technique of puttin themselves in my lectures of RNA, DNA and stuff. i think their insomnia sure cured within the first 10 mins...anyway, after that, i realise that histology prac has been cancelled cos the 4th year vets were using the room or something. so kailin and me were practically kissing the guy who passed the news to us. so i went back, wanted to start studyin, but then it started again. these few days i've been having fainting spells. i really dont know why, mum says cos i got no sugar intake, kailin said cos not enough iron. so, i figured i better take a nap and wake up and night to study. but the fainting spells din go away. better go for a check-up if it keeps persisting...went on a 'date' with faz to macs and man, what a date! we ended talking bout the MOST romantic things! enzyme activity, mean artial pressure, beta receptors, alpha receptors, blood flow, etc...nothing bout work, oh well, cant help it, exam's on friday. thanks faz, for the most romantic date of my life.

onto something more serious, today i learnt that rob, my ocf mentor, his wife, cathy, had been diagnosed with breast cancer. man, i rememebered the last time when someone close to me had breast cancer, my mum. but because she had it when i was 8, i really didnt know the meaning of it, and i also prob din know the meaning of life and death then. so it didnt really sadden me, just that i knew she was really sick and had to be in the hospital. when i think bout it now, i tear cos she could have been gone and i wouldnt have known her as well as i know her now, i wouldn have know her love for me which i am ever so grateful and thankful. i rememebered in jc, when we had to write an essay in chinese for mother's day. and i really sucked in chinese and my work was never commented, but my essay was commented not because of the way i used 'big' words, but commented cos i wrote something prob the teacher could relate to. i wrote that if ever we have another life, i would want to be my mother's mother, so that i can show her how much she showed me in this lifetime. man, i should stop, my t-shirt's already wet with tears...anyway, rob said it was still in the early stages so it should not be very life-threatening. and i pray so too. i pray that they will learn how to depend more on God and seek Him in these times of such trials. i also pray that they will be strong.

well, sorry to end on such a sad note guys, but take care and God bless!

its trine bday!!!

2005-04-27T03:02:00.000-07:00

it's Trine's birthday!!!
hey...
today, or should i say, yesterday was my dearest cousin's bday! and she turns 21! man, we are all growin so old. ha, anyway, i hope you like the e-card, the the guy singing. sorry i cant be there to sing a bday song to you. you know i would if i could. but! when we meet in july back in singapore, i will get you a nice lovely present okie? and the promise my mum gave about the chilli crabs..hmmmm...haha, happy birthday trine!

today, i woke up at 6.30am. its amazing. and its all God's grace. i told Him yesterday that i needed to get my biological clock reset again and i told him how i needed to get alot of work done and how i always oversleep. and i told Him that i didnt want to waste another day and i had faith that He is in control. and i woke up, at 630!woa, you cant believe how i was feelin...i know its not by chance cos i NEVER wake up by chance. so then i bathed and headed down to the lib by 8 and started work. i tell you, the morning air is absolutly refreshing. no words can describe it. and looking around as i walk to the lib, i see nature in its full glory, i just get amaze and am very thankful to have lived through the moment. and then as i walked, it was as if He was saying to me, ' 'be, you trusted me and i prepared all this for you. have a good day ahead.' man, you know the feeling when you kinda get freaked out but yet in awe? yup, that was how i was feeling...it was gd.

studied, met sarah dearest for lunch at asian caravan and she came over to my place to get some music and she chucked her incredibles movie onto my desktop just to get more space in her creative thingy. then dropped her off for her test which apparently she did very well. *clap clap* the rest of the day was spent mostly on studyin...

i guess its true what we talked about, just hope that it will not continue and things would be better...till tmr, take care guys and God bless!!!

ps: thank you God for waking me up today, what about tmr? *wink*

i cant believe i woke up at 4pm...

2005-04-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

i cant believe i woke up at 4pm today...
hey...
yes sri, i lost the bet again. wonder whats wrong with me, waking up so late these days. im so goin to be in trouble when sch starts.

anyway, talked to my mum today and learnt something new. mum said that i used to hang out with a girl called justina when i was really young, and cos of family problems, i never did saw her again...so what i heard today is that justina had committed suicide bout two years ago cos she was jilted. and i was thinkin about yesterday and thought that i was bad, but justina, man....its as if she has gotten everything straighten out at the age of 18, and found that there was no point living...i mean, we are just learnin, just beginning to learn bout life, love and all its pleasures and pain, and she just probably misunderstood. trine says there could have been other factors, like no one to turn to and hard childhood, and yea, it could be true, but wat a waste...

just that thought for today, yup. got to start studyin for vet107 and prac exam. sigh, so much and so little time. hm. *yawn* cleared all my thoughts while eating lunch/dinner at macs today. i have to move on, theres no point brooding about it. nothing will ever happen and i dont want anything else to happen from it anymore. i just want it to end there. back in the past and not ever surface again. yup. i've grown from it and i dont want to look back and just sink into that pitiful me again, all cryin and stuff. new life, new dreams, new inspirations, all waiting for me to embrace each one of them. and i dont want to go back into the past. yup.

have rambled enough so back to studyin, take care guys and God bless!

what is your zeal?

2005-04-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

what is your zeal?

hey...
first of all, i want to wish everyone a happy Anzac day.

"They shall grow not old,

as we that are left grow old,

Age shall not weary them

nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun,

and in the morning,

we will rememeber them."

i went to church today and received a very reflecting message. the speaker was talking bout what is your zeal. which also means what is your passion, what consumes you, indirectly: what do you live for?

and the passage came from Phillippians, where Paul was writing a letter to the people when he was in jail. just to know, Paul was in jail because he was being persecuted for his faith, his belief in Jesus Christ. and he says this, 'What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the supassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..." Paul's zeal was to please God. he writes that everything else is rubbish and loss compared to his friendship with the Lord. everything else is rubbish. Paul was consumed with the joy of knowin Christ.

what makes people great? people like Napoleon, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Julius Caesar, etc...the answer is probably cos they devote their whole life in fulfilling their zeal. they put everything, their strength, mind, soul, everything! for the fufilling of their zeal.

i think that people have to have' zeal' in their life, for if one loses it, the point of living is gone. the sermon makes me think again bout the things that consume my life. and come to think of it, all the things that i could think bout are worthless. really. i have not been opening my eyes to see whats important to me. something that i would put my strength, mind and soul into. i hope to be like Paul. i pray that his desire would become my desire. the desire to please God-To live is Christ, to die is gain.

other than reflecting, i have done the world's most stupidiest thing today. i opened a box under my bed. not just an ordinary box. but a memory box, a box filled with many pictures and letters and gifts. a box filled with many good wishes, sincere gratitudes, empty promises and forsaken dreams. and then i started the whole thinking cycle all over again. 'why did it happen?'

took me a long phonecall from 'leen, a long phonecall from mum, a long phonecall from sri, and a msn chat from sarah, to get me into forgetting. but it still lingers in my mind. why?

sarah said that some things in the past should be left unsaid, and mum said that always look forward into the future, never look into the past for you cannot do anything about it anymore. i guess they are all right and i shall hold on to that thought and try to move on. man, i will never open another box again...

woa, it has been a long post, to all you who have stuck thru it all, kudos to you man, for if it was me, i wouldnt have had the patience. well, its a holiday but i have to study! yup, life goes on, the show must go on...take care guys and God bless!

i shall stop counting the days....

2005-04-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

i shall stop counting the days...

hey...
i have michael jackson's 40th anniversary show playin on my tv, i have a rash on my neck, i have a splitting headache and i have lots to study...sigh.

suppose to go fishin today, but it got cancelled cos it was raining. man, i feel very uncomfortable these few days, like nothin could make me feel at ease. i wish i was back home, then my ah-ma would cook all my favourite food. fried promfret, black fungus soup, chilli crabs, fried pork ribs, money soup...hm, I SO WANT TO GO HOME!!!! *boo*

cant blog any more, headaches killing me...mj just did his moonwalk, man, he's good. take care guys and God bless.

the third day of studying...

2005-04-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

the third day of studying...

hey...
i studied till 5am last night, din cover anything new, just revising the old stuff...the same old notes about the heart... man, thats the only thing that im interested in...muscles, endocrine, nerves can put me to sleep, but the heart's cool...maybe cos its the thing that keeps us goin, and how theres a saying that man dont think much with their brains but more with their hearts. i guess thats where compassion, sympathy and negative stuff such as prejudice comes from...cool.

anyway, talked to 'leen and she said her poly friends set up 'clues' for her to find them and they celebrated her bday and she enjoyed it. glad to know that she enjoyed herself. quite dissapointed as to why some of our other closer friends forgot her birthday...

you know how you learn something new everyday? i learnt 2 new things today. from my salsa classmate, tendai, she told me that many of the black celebrities have fake hair...they all have their hair weaved in, or braided in, etc. like she showed me a magazine and she went, "tyra banks, fake hair. jill scott, fake hair. beyonce, fake hair. ashanti, fake hair....." and i was just sitting there listenin to her and thinkin nothin but hair... another thing i learn was from a very eventful talk with 'leen. was tellin her bout some stuff and she was tellin me bout how some people are just 'j' and 'p' and 'i' and 'e'...haha, i have not lost my mind...

well, might get some studyin done now since i haven touched anything the whole day. from the bottom of my heart, happy birthday 'leen and i could never thank you enough for being my best friend after all these times...take care and God bless.

the second day of studyin...

2005-04-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

the second day of studying...

hey...
guess what? i din study at all today! sigh, im so dead. *sobs*

well, what happened today. went to freo to makan lunch with sri and faz and his sisters. i think nina is so cute! anyway, that was the highlight, but also, they had my favourite chilli mussels!!! my goodness, i was in heaven for that period of time. so yep, lunch was very good, very very good.

then sri and i went to garden city to go and catch 'the interpreter'. the one starring nicole kidman. i thought it was a good show. sean penn was really gd in it too. the whole time i was freaked out about that tall, african guy who plans the bombs and also at the end on whether the old dude would snatch the gun and shoot both of them. but thats just me.

so after the show, came home and watched the mariah carey dvd that i bought on sale and discovered that she has alot of talent but what the heck is wrong with her now. she was so good in the days when she wrote 'hero', 'fantasy', etc, but after leaving sony, everything just spiraled down for her. glitter and her movie, oh dear, just makes me embarrassed to be her fan. wonder what her new album will be like...

i know its still early, but i just want to sing to my dearest best friend, 'leen....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EILEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.............
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
*SCREAMS MY LUNGS OUT*

yup, theres your bday song, so sorry i cant be back to celebreate it with you, hope you'll understand. but i pray that this year would be a fantastic one for you, one filled with much love, joy, happiness and many many cherished memories. i also pray that in this year, your relationship with the precious Lord would grow into a much deeper level and that you would be constantly reminded of His love for you. and also know that i love you lots too.

guys, take care and God bless.

the first day of studying...

2005-04-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

the first day of studyin...

hey...
so today, i studied from 1-5pm, and 8-11pm and all i got into my brain was barely 3 lectures of cardiovascular system...man, i must concentrate. maybe cos im thinking that im still on holiday(which i am). but i have so much to do...sigh.

tomorrow, faz wants to go for lunch and prob meet his sisters at the same time, and sri wants to date me to go catch 'interpreter' and 'whos home for dinner' or something like that. its goin to be fun. me and sri are goin to scare the hell out of his sisters (or maybe it would be the other way round', you dont know how kids are these days) whee!

nothin much happened today, spent most of my time in the lib, studyin the lecture notes, but also lookin around just studyin people. i managed to study australians, chinese and one african guy. man, God is so full of creativity. its amazing how everyone is so beautiful...

just to let you in on a secret, dont tell anyone ya?promise? i think sri and nikhil are making out, she actually forgot to bring back the bowl and the bottle opener! haha. sri and nikhil. so farni, just kill me.

i miss the days when we could talk about superheros in pajamas, ponies, dragon-tales, the little green man and how we always wanted to fly and visit the moon in a matchbox and nothing in the world was going to stop us. how you would never let anything happen to us. doesnt God hear amens wherever we are? how i long...think i broke the wings of the little song bird, she's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now...

to end, 'leen, i saw him again today, he drove me home and his name is john, and he is just gorgeous. hee. night guys, take care and God bless.

oh happy day...

2005-04-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

Oh Happy Day...

hey...

alright, its a happy day cos i attended Arthur's confirmation today. and it was encouraging to see him make a stand for God in front of so many people. And the people in his church were so lovely. i asked Arthur how he felt, and he said he was really happy yet really nervous while he was giving his speech, but i thought it was an awesome speech. its good to see someone dedicating their life for the Lord and just happy to be in a relationship with Him. Arthur, may the good Lord bless you and keep you and may He always shine His face upon you. you are indeed a precious child of God.

a little song that's blasting in my head now...

"Here in the dark, i stand before you.

Knowing, this is my chance to show you my heart.

This is the start, this is the start.

I have so much to say and I'm hoping, that your arms are open.

Don't turn away I want you near me, but you have to hear me.

Here's where i stand, here's who I am.

Love me, but dont tell me who I have to be.

Here's who I am, I'm what you see.

You said I have to change and I was trying

But my heart was lying.

I'm not a child any longer, I am stronger.

In this life, we've come so far.

But we're only who we are

The courage of love to show us the way.

We've got the power to stand up and say.

Here's where i stand, heres who i am.

stand up and im coun ting on you

If you are with me, we'll make it thru

Love me and we'll make it thru

Baby, i'm counting on you. " -Camp, the movie

just hopin you'll be there when i fall...

so, i have to start studyin tomorrow for biomedical physiology, principles of vet, do my vet essay and research on sickle cell anemia for my presentation...Zzzzzzzzzz...

*wakes up* as i was saying, haha, yea, got to start. you guys take care and till tmr, take care and God bless!

another mindless day, or so i thought...

2005-04-16T01:29:00.000-07:00

another mind-less day, or so i thought...

hey...
alright, this is probably the million-th time i'm changing the way my blog looks...too much brain-effort...oh well, sarah says its refreshin (wonder if its a gd thing), so im happy for now.
woke up really early today, like bout 1pm(im living on holiday time now), then grilled some steak and watched ella enchanted and saved with Sri...then proceeded to return the dvds to videoezy and then headed for bs with the curtin group down in south perth...

today we were talkin about the book of romans, 8:29-38. and the passage was telling us how nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. what struck me was the verse saying that "and those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified". what i didnt understand was what will happen to those He did not predestine? will He not love? then i had a long talk with Rob and he clarified things with me. the predestination that Paul was talking about is God loving us first, right before we even knew Him. and if we use predestination out of that context to discuss about other things, then it wouldnt be what Paul had meant. Paul was talking to the christians and he wanted them to know they God has loved them even before they knew Him. and nothing could and would separate them and God's love. sometimes i just wish i knew that. sigh, im so struggling now.

something happier, i think that Macaulay Culkin on saved, is very gorgeous. he's all grown-up and altho you can see that his face shows that he's been into drugs, but he still looks so darn hot. even tho his role was a cripple, he still looks hot.

well, might leave now and try to get some snooze to recover to the normal sleeping and waking up times. cos these few nights i have been sleepin at 5am and waking up at 1pm. so there. need to get myself ready to study full-on next week. mumsie's coming on the 29th April! whee! till tmr, take care and God bless!

it has been finally done...

2005-04-15T05:02:00.000-07:00

it has finally been done...

hey...
alright, its finally here. after a year and a half, i have finally revived my blog. goodness! you wouldnt want to know how long i have spent. well, at least now, i will no longer hear people nagging at me to 'start your blog' over and over again...
SO...how have all of you been? good i hope. for me, im currently having my two-weeks break from school. so i have been doin everything but study. i went rock-climbing, fishing, salsa-dancing, nandos-eating, movie-ing, etc...haha, basically living a good life. hm, but it will be all over soon once next week arrives, then i got to start on my essay and study for two exams.
it will be a short entry tonight cos i spend the whole night trying to get the template right. its unbelievable man. so, to end, i hope you will enjoy the pictures that i have painstakingly put up. if your face is in there, gd for you! if not, i am thinking of you! but send me a mail if you want your face on it. and again, to all the people who have graced my life in one way or another, many thanks for the friendship that we share. i love you all! take care and God bless!